Today i’m participating in a blogger’s cocktail party, organised by my friend theresa. There is a whole bunch of us who will blog about the same topic just for today. The choice was between something we feared or to share something about us. Both topics serve to allow the reader to go ‘behind the scenes’ and get to know the person behind the blog a little better. I chose the latter and if you want to see the rest of the participating blogs, hop over here.
I’ve chosen to talk about the fear of failure vs the fear of success.
For the past 20 years i’ve believed in the notion of having a vocation versus just having a job. I’ve strived to find work that i love, that i’m aligned with and that supports my value system. It didn’t start out like this. In the beginning it was all about making money, fitting in with the social fabric and feeding my ego. Slowly, i started questioning my motifs and realised that i have the power to say no to jobs i didn’t think fitted the bill. It has been an uphill struggle and i can assure you it will continue to be a challenge.
I’ve always believed that i have a fear of failure. Full stop! In the past few years it has transpired that i actually also have a fear of success. Do you know this poem by Marianne Williamson from her book A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles?
‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
That’s right, we are powerful beyond measure and i’m starting to really get it!
You didn’t think it would stop here, did you? Well, then we have the meaning of success. What does success mean to you? I can only share here what it means to me. It means waking up every day and liking what i see in the mirror (metaphorically speaking:) to be true to who i want to be, to live in authenticity and to serve humankind. Yes, you read correctly, i see my working life as serving humankind. I believe that we can all create our own life. As the saying goes: Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. In my very small way i try to help people create their own life. For me, quality of life starts at home, hence why i’m passionate about home finding for my clients. I want to give them the best chance of waking up in a home that will facilitate them having the best day they can have.
I’ve also learned that i cannot grow if i don’t fail. I used to be paralysed with fear when it came to trying out new work things but am happy to report that these days i take it much more in my stride and will test, discard or change things as and when required without getting that feeling of being a failure.
I hope my learning never stops and that i’ll carry on the journey that has so far given me tremendous pleasure and enriched my life. Hey, let’s face it, getting to the destination is so last season. It’s all in the journey, a bit like, err, life itself.
Have a great weekend people and please share your thoughts on this. Does it make sense to you? How do you feel about your work?
Here’s to all my fellow cocktail party bloggers. You rock!